Guest Post: The Trustworthy Father

I am a doubter. I am a skeptic. My lack of trust was a learned experience from the moment I was born. I wasn’t in the plan for my parents. And neither was their relationship. They met through a work partnership and found themselves in a non-committed relationship. I was conceived and the struggle to keep an unplanned baby was very real. But God, he had a plan and I was in it. My mother kept me despite all the challenges that would come with that decision.

Trust wasn’t something I did well. Let’s be honest it’s not something I do well. I still struggle with trust. But there is one to whom trusting is easy. That is my King, my Abba, my Savior.

Growing up I knew Jesus. I was raised, at my mom’s, in the church. Our church was very strict and legalistic. Adding to my trust issues as I watched people act one way at home and another way on Sunday mornings. It never felt authentic, even at a young age, I saw that. Our church was loosely connected to a Bible camp and every summer I begged to go. It was always a no. Until one summer I had the opportunity to earn my way to camp through a church scholarship. After months of hard work, my parents decided I could go.

There I found myself surrounded by kids my own age eager to learn about God and do all the camp things like earn patches and win awards for Bible memory verses. But something that stood out to me the most were the counselors. Young people genuinely happy to answer any question, to point you to Jesus without shame or confusion but joy. I wanted that. I wanted that so bad.

You see, I had prayed the “salvation prayer”, I had prayed it so many times it felt like a daily routine. I was hung up on my trust issues because in some small way I couldn’t believe that salvation came through God alone. Surely a God who is so worthy and so good wouldn’t want me around if I kept messing up. I had to ask anew for forgiveness and salvation any time I did something I deemed too unforgivable in my eleven-year-old mind.

My kind and gracious camp counselor spent hours talking to me and sharing the gospel with me! I knew in my mind all of these things. I even had told my parents I was saved and tried to convince my younger siblings to get saved but I still hadn’t put my trust and confidence in Him.

Even the demons know and trembling at the name of Jesus (James 2:19), but He isn’t their god. Even the most knowledgeable bible scholars can know every faucet of scripture but without belief, He is just another god in a grand collection of gods.

John 5:24

Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life.

The dictionary describes trust in this way:

A firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.

Knowing and trusting are very different things. We can know all about Jesus. We can know a ton of scripture but until we firmly believe in the truth of the gospel we will not have the peace described in scripture. At least I didn’t.

About me:

My name is Erin Borrett. I am a Christmas Eve baby, mama to four, and animal lover! But what I love most of all is my King Jesus. I adore sharing Him with those around me. My blog and ministry Broken Not Broke was born out of a place of deep brokenness. I felt I had no outlet for my gifting and so I tip-toed my way into the blogging world. I was pretty skeptical for a long time, there are a lot of seasoned “fish” in the blogging world. Who am I? Well, over the last year and a half I have made some valued friendships and partnerships. Rebecca is one of those sweet friendships and I am so honored to share a small portion of my story with you today!